I went for a walk with my dog Regan about an hour ago. When we had a house I would grab the garage door opener and we were off. Not now. I grabbed my keys remembering my sunglasses were in the car and locked the apartment. Unlocked the car, grabbed my sunglasses, decided I did not want to take all my keys with me. Took the car key off the ring, put the rest of the keys in the car and grabbed my sunglasses, locked the door, and we were off. I was dropping off a video from the gym I workout at. There is a nature path that goes under the highway and drops me off right at the gym. It is approx 1.5 mile walk (I think) to the gym. Right as I am walking towards the gym I realize I cannot find my car key! Matt's at the college sitting in viewing a dissertation defense and informed me less than 5 minutes ago that his cell phone "died."
"Okay," I tell myself. "Just drop off the video and start walking home."
Done, now I am half way back to the entrance of the trail and I start praying. "God, you made everything around me. You are the creator of the universe. I know you have a lot going on right now with the whole world-especially all that's going on even in my wonderful family, but you also know the desires of my heart. And the only desire of my heart right now is to be alive and to have my car key sitting on the hood of my car in the apartment parking lot. Amen."
Well I walked right up to my car, grabbed my car key, unlocked the car door, grabbed the rest of my keys, locked the car, unlocked my apartment door, locked the apt, gave Regan some water, put my keys on the desk and sat down to honor one of God's little miracles.....
Sometimes I think blog posts are suppose to be these mind blowing, thought provoking, change the world sort of entries. I do have multiple interesting thoughts on a daily basis-but don't think that they are "blog" worthy-so then it is weeks/months/or a friend posting a note before I write again. This is a completely new media for me. I was never encouraged to journal as I was growing up so I am learning how to make this part of my life. I think writing thoughts down/typing is therapeutic just like my hobby of taking a million photos to document my life/experiences/family.
I am experiencing a loss right now. No, there has not been a physical death. I have a family member that decided to start her marriage on a foundation of lies and not allow her family to bless her with bridal showers, gifts, well wishes, and a wedding. I have accepted that this is her choice-but now I am awaiting how my family is going to recover. Family life will never be the same-but is it suppose to? Just like the trees and flowers of this earth go through their seasons of change-is a family suppose to "stay the same" even as children grow into adults and make their own decisions? I don't think so-this is uncharted territory for all families as they grow.
It seems that in some families rocking the boat forces other members to try to hold on to the "life that was." I am not pardoning my family member for lying to her family, but I am also not pardoning the rest of the family for not looking for restoration. They are continuing to focus on their own hurts and not the future. Many words have been said-of course I wish we could all go back in time and maybe rewrite what is now, but that is not possible.
What I wish and pray for is that the family members that feel "wronged" will ready their hearts for when my sister comes back. I pray that they are praying for their hearts to be soft and warm to her. I pray that my sister understands the pain that lying causes and to focus on getting her marriage spared and put on a different foundation sooner than later. Maybe this will never happen-but I pray and hope that it will. I want my family to change for the better during this time of change. It will not be comfortable-but who can say that change for the better is comfortable? Changing for the good is hard, painful work at times because the goal is for a win-win not for things to be said just to make the "wronged" feel better......
I am a KANSAN who has relocated to the mid-state of Pennsylvania. Being from Kansas I have heard every Kansas joke there is, but for fun:
Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...and I have the posts to prove it!
I am now a mother to a beautiful baby boy, an encouraging wife to my assistant professor husband, a Registered Nurse, and manage to keep a german shorthair pointer and two cats alive, as well as enjoy the house maintenance of a 90 yr old home.